A Library Story from 2006.

Last week, a man threw a fit in the library’s computer commons and had to be escorted out by two security guards, ranting and raving all the while. You see, someone had stolen his library card while he was away from his computer station – and then, when he finally sat down to do his work, the reservation computer snatched the monitor away from him and assigned it to someone else. All very normal and unexceptional, but he blew a gasket.

He howled and snarled, insulted me personally, yelled and bawled, until I hit my panic button and summoned security, who tried to calm him down. The sight of Last week, a man threw a fit in the library’s computer commons and had to be escorted out by two security guards, ranting and raving all the while. You see, someone had stolen his library card while he was away from his computer station – and then, when he finally sat down to do his work, the reservation computer snatched the monitor away from him and assigned it to someone else. All very normal and unexceptional, but he blew a gasket.

He howled and snarled, insulted me personally, yelled and bawledthe uniformed security officers, whisking away this gentleman, who was, in his late 50s, I’d say, scarecrow tall and lean with a frazz of white hair on his crown, was something to remember.

It was a decidedly ignominious display, and I swear that if something like that ever happened to me, I would be far too ashamed to ever come back to Santa Monica, let alone to the library to use the computers again. Yet, there he was today, regular as clockwork, acting as though nothing had happened, which is, I suppose the only way to behave if you really HAVE to come back and use a computer.

At one point, he came up to me at my big wooden desk and gruffly apologized for his behavior. But, you see, he was justified: “My library card!” he grunted. “And then the computer thing. Dang, I was just angry!”

I told him that he comes to the computer commons every single day and that he should be aware of how things work there by now. His acknowledged this, but then noted, “But I was working on something so important! You see, I have this legal case…”

And then he fished out this gigantic document from his moth-eaten shoulder bag.
“You see, it’s about this conspiracy at the patent office. And I complained to the FBI and the CIA and there’s this COVER up. And so, I wrote this letter to President Bush…” He proffered a curled up scrap of maniac-paper, covered with crayon and coffee cup circles – “Warning him that he needs to be aware that the people around him are involved with a COVER up. And then the computers went down. Just like that! And so, of course, I was angry. Anyone would be!”

And he went on and on for a bit like that, until my eyes started to glaze and I gently smiled, noting, “Well, sir, there’s no line today. So you can go to any computer that’s available! Enjoy!”

It’s funny how I hear the most loopy stuff, almost six or seven times a day.